Water is an essential element to life — plants thrive on it, humans need it, and it exists as nature’s way of quenching thirst. It’s supposed to be pure, refreshing, and cleansing, right? Umm…let’s just say that crazy ol’ A took one of the world’s basic forces and turned it into a regular freakshow. Thanks to the treacherous texter and his/her/their wily shenanigans, Pretty Little Liars episode 2.16 was overflowing with shocker after shocker. And what better way to honor all the creepy-crawler scenes than with a full recap of “Let the Water Hold Me down“! (Splish splash, pretties…)
Top OMG Moments and The Big Ta-da from Pretty Little Liars Episode 2.16:
- Cue the “it was a dark and stormy night” opening. Four little liars sit hunched around a roaring fireplace. One of them — the golden-haired one — is wearing a fluffy pink robe. Such a cozy sight…but looks can be deceiving. After a menacing encounter with a male friend, the robed liar (Hanna) is ready to pop more headache-clearing pills than Jessie Spano did during her moment of “excitement.” She digs into her bag and searches around for a water bottle. Aha! She yanks it out and is about to wash down the aspirin with it when her bff slash roomie (Emily Fields) shrieks out, “Hanna, don’t drink that! It’s lake water!” (Newsflash! Emily is a high schooler by day, hydrogeologist by night.) Alarmed, Hanna sets down the bottle and immediately receives the following text: “No fun chugging lake water, is it? Choke on this, bitch. -A” (Dear A, that would have sounded more vicious had Hanna not spent the previous hours swallowing lake water. She’s clearly immune to its germs.)
- Mona, Mona, Mona. It seems like all the scary stuff happens whenever she’s around. Either she’s being used as a red-herring or she’s been caught red-handed one too many times! At the beginning of the episode, Mona’s trying to confide in Hanna about Noel because she’s worried he’s slipping away. (Well yea — the dude’s a slimeball.) However, Hanna’s thinking about superficial things – oh, you know, the petty “I almost died (again) last night.” Mona notices and calls her a bad friend! (Too bad Mona’s not an insect because then she’d have super sensitive antennae that would assist her in correctly identifying human emotions.) Hanna runs off to the bathroom to cry her heart out and hears footsteps moving about. Instead of opening the stall to catch the culprit in the act, she takes her sweet time. Finally, when bathroom water starts seeping into her stall, Hanna slowly opens the door and finds…a clogged sink with a damn rowboat in it! WTF! WTF! WTF! (Surprisingly, Mona and Noel did not show up in their bathing suits.) Flash forward to the end of the episode — Spencer’s walking to her car. Alone. In the Dark. After a super sleuthing session. Naturally, she starts to worry. (Kinda late for that?) Someone bristles behind her. Spencer whips around, ready to strike and sees…
a heartbroken, freshly single girl who’s burying her emotions in a cashmere sweater set shopping spreeMona. Coincidence? Ahem ahem.
- It’s a night of dates and secrets! Maya and Emily hit up a club in Camden, NJ (finally making good use of the fake IDs that Alison gave the girls), and her bootcamp boo reveals that she hooked up while away. Em’s chiller than Jay Z — that is, until Maya unleashes the dreaded pronoun…”he won’t take no for an answer”! (Hmm. Could his name be Isaac?! Pretty Little Liars book IQ to the rescue!) Emily stops dead in her tracks and casts one of her infamous “I’m so bewildered right now it’s not even funny” looks. However, Maya’s beaming, as though she just uttered the most hunky-dory sentence of all time. Meanwhile, just a couple of cities away, Aria slips out of her furry, red vest and into a smoking hot dress and blazer…because homegirl’s got a date. Unfortunately for Ezria fans, it’s with an old-fashioned bloke named Holden who likes to bring up inside jokes about paste every chance he gets. The two of them are going to take in dinner and a show (Arthur Miller’s “A View from the Bridge”…how normal). Nevertheless, in true Romeo and Juliet fashion, Aria’s got tricks up her well-tailored sleeves. It turns out that she and Ezra had planned on seeing this exact play together, and she’s hoping to run into him and make him jealous with her new boy toy. Well, this is how it goes down (in slo-mo of course): Ezra arrives. Aria bats her does eyes at him. He stops and looks, mesmerized by her beauty. They stare at each other longingly. Then the random Rosewood teacher who’s always interrupting their finest moments pops up with hugs for Ezra. (DAMMIT! GET GONE!) And because he’s not oblivious to the obvious, Holden notices. (As anyone with eyes and common sense would.) Surprisingly, he’s cool with it because he’s got some skeletons swaying away in his closet as well. Oh goody goody gumdrops!
- Nancy Drew Time! Spencer finds a bag of cell phones just casually scattered around her lake house. (She’s set for life at this point.) But hold up — there’s also a receipt from “Smittys on Hyperion” (a story in Philly)! She and Aria do a happy dance (we can pretend) and are excited to investigate this clue further. Onward to the city of “Brotherly Love“! (Oh how ironic that statement’s about to sound…) Spencer’s researching A’s “four-pack of Chucky dolls” when suddenly she spots a seeing eye dog and a blind pedestrian. Because she’s pretty much the only Liar at this point with any commendable sleuthing skills (although Emily did have her moment), she follows all the stick-tapping folks until she reaches…the Kristian Auguest Rehabilitation Center for the Blind! Two words: Jenna Marshall! And because Spencer is more efficient than even an assembly line, she manages to chat with one of Jenna’s (super cute) guy friends from the school and pilfer a guest sign-in book from the night Alison disappeared. That’s just how $pence rolls. Now go on and dirt your shoulders off, girl!
- Lucas is not dead. He called his parents. (Such a responsible, young man!) But his whereabouts are still unknown. Ashley Marin is worried. Caleb is worried. But is Hannakins? Hell to the no. She’s all like, “Bitch please. Do I look like someone who places herself in dangerous situations?” (Insert uncomfortable silence.) Luckily for her, she doesn’t have to fret over her adorable geeky friend at all! Lucas decides to tip-toe his way into her room (and by tip-toe we mean flop around in wet shoes and leave a trail of muddy footprints on Ashley’s clean kitchen tiles). Although we’re still not sure why he didn’t just ring the doorbell (takes all the fun out of FREAKING OUT), we’re just glad that Lucas is alright…and that we finally find out what he wanted to tell Hanna. Turns out his secret’s kinda lame — he gambled away Caleb’s hard-earned cash (40 whole Benjamins, baby) and, by doing so, loses two friends. Color us suspicious but his little speech sounds like one flimsy excuse — especially considering how he rowed Hanna into the middle of a lake at night in order to tell her this not-so-exciting news. Cough *lies* cough!
The Big Ta-da: Things didn’t get hairy…they got squirmy! Yea, that’s right, squirmy as in worms. Yet again — by replacing the girls’ Chinese takeout noodles with annelids — A managed to prove that crazy also means very creative. (Sigh. Farewell, delivery food.That bitch is everywhere!)
So, what was your favorite OMG moment from “Let the Water Hold Me Down”? Tell us in the comments and remember to tune in next Monday for another ALL NEW Pretty Little Liars episode!