Spoiler Alert: Please do not read past this message if you have not yet watched Pretty Little Liars Season 3, Episode 3, otherwise known as “Kingdom of the Blind.”
Where do we begin to describe PLL episode 3.03? From Ella Montgomery almost getting fired to Lucas Gottesman getting super emo at school to the Liars confronting Jenna Marshall about her self-diagnosed “blindness,” the evening was filled with twists galore. All in all, the third episode of Pretty Little Liars Season 3 was teeming with edge-of-your-seat entertainment — and we even got to enjoy a creepy little diddy sung by none other Mona Vanderwaal. Now, let’s proceed to the OMG moments from “Kingdom of The Blind”!
Top OMG Moments and The Big Ta-da from PLL Episode 3.03:
The Tale of the Grade Booster: Once upon a time there was a English teacher named Mrs. Montgomery, who required her Rosewood High students to read
extremely dull plays such as Hedda Gabler. However, unlike most teachers at the school, Mrs. Montgomery actually cared about her students’ well-being and her weakness was her big, compassionate heart. So when one of her students named Emily lost someone very dear to her, Mrs. M took pity and made every attempt to overlook her lack of concentration in the classroom and knowledge of the material. So what did she do? She took the test for her own student and gave her a 94. Bad move though — turns out someone wrote an anonymous note reporting her for playing favorites (and that the students she tried to protect has the tendency to tell the truth once in a while because she’s pure at heart) and the vice-principal almost fired her. Luckily, her daughter Aria’s beau — a man who has a penchant for clean-cut vests — galloped in on his white steed and saved the day. Thus, no one got fired and Emily secured herself a good grade in the class without feeling guilty. The end? No way, yo!
Sister and Her Secret Mister: Has anyone noticed how Melissa Hastings likes to yell a lot, especially at Spencer? (“Melissa wouldn’t tell me if my hair was on fire!” -Spencer) When homegirl gets angry, watch out because she’ll immediately begin yelling and rattling off arguments at you. It’s like, sheesh, relax! Unfortunately for Spencer, she yet again experienced the wrath of her sis who took to shrieking at the top of her lungs that Spencer is selfish and self-absorbed. Why? Because Spencer wanted to know why mom Veronica decided to serve as Garrett Reynolds’ defense attorney in his trial for the murders of Alison DiLaurentis and Maya St. Germain, and Melissa was suffering through a miscarriage (which is really upsetting to be honest). Well, unluckily for Melissa though, Spencer and crew began to question the identity of Mel’s true baby daddy…and one thing led to another. Bada boom bada bing, Spencer’s on the phone with the hospital that Melissa claims to have stayed at — only, according to the hospital administrators, she never checked in. In fact, Mel was wining and dining with Veronica in Hanover at a spa for three days and Veronica admitted that she didn’t even know that her own daughter was faking her pregnancy until they hung out that weekend. Was Mel even ever pregnant to begin with? Only time will tell.
The Emo Creeper: Lucas has seriously gone loco since Pretty Little Liars Season 1. He looks like he barely sleeps and he seems rather brooding. (He’s probably a vampire for all we know.) And the real kicker is he’s not even bothering to hide his new emo status. In “Kingdom of the Blind,” he not only mutters some cryptic, threatening gibberish about icebergs and trivial bureaucracies when Caleb gets on his case for trying to set Hanna on fire (LOL though), but he also tries to set the school on fire by lighting up a paper — that Vice Principal Hackett hands him during a meeting about his grades and attitude — and tosses it in a nearby wastebasket. Luckily, Hanna is there to use her special firelady powers (via a book) and put out the flames. Caleb joins in the heroic act by contributing the contents of his water bottle. (Bravo, lovers!) However, just when you think Lucas can’t get any creepier he surprises everyone by visiting Mona at Radley. He has become a full-fledged conspiracy theorist who seems to think that Mona is a better actress than she lets on. (“It’s better for a lot of people if Mona stays crazy, right?” Um, I mean…sure?)
The Screeching Banshee: Mona is loca — we know this fact all too well — but could she possibly be faking it? Lucas seems to think so which is the excuse he gives Hanna for visiting Miss Vanderwaal at Radley. Hmm — think about it. All of a sudden, she’s no longer a taciturn hot mess and is a garrulous hot mess instead. When Hanna visits her, Mona can’t stop yapping away about her abnormal thirst and “the boulevard.” (Hanna basically tells her flat out to cut the crap and shut her pie-hole.) So how does Mona explain her miraculous change in attitude? The change in meds. Happy happy joy joy — well, that is until Caleb drops by to visit Mona (who’s playing solitaire by herself…or possibly ghost Alison) to warn her not to mess with Hanna. With wonderful flair, Mona looks at him and just says that he’s a lousy kisser. Caleb huffs at first but then reveals the obvious — that she’s trapped in that hell-hole while he’s free to come and go as he pleases. Apparently, Mona didn’t take too kindly to being told off by her former bestie’s long-haired boo and begins screaming and thrashing about, knocking tables left and right. (Caleb basically was like ‘Yo I’m outta here. Bitch crazy!’) It’s okay though because Mona eventually calms down and croons herself to sleep with a (surprisingly beautiful) acoustic rendition of “In The Eye Abides The Heart” — all while clutching her new version of the Teddy Bear aka the Queen of Hearts!
Thug Life Intervention: Poor Aria. She’s forced to go undercover a lot at the request of the other girls (probably because she’s so cute and innocent looking), but this week she had no choice but to link arms with Jenna and stroll the hallways with her — all while putting up with not-so-subtle commentary about “sight” and looking things in the eye. (Also, by hang out we mean accompany Jenna’s flute with her keyboard skills. So badass! Well, luckily, Aria’s afternoon with Jenna is not a total waste; she manages to find a Post-It note in Jenna’s room that reads “H. Cobb4:15 WEDEARPLUGS.” So Miss Montgomery reconvenes with the rest of the pretties and spills the deets. They then all head to that exact location and whadda ya know — they spot Jenna cruising around in a retro blue car. (So un-blind of her!) At this point, Hanna has had about enough so she walks straight up to Jenna’s car like a boss and utters the following line of brilliance, “Wow, Jenna. What a sight for sore eyes.” Corner in an alley and knowing full well that there is nowhere to run, Jenna starts yammering about how she pretended to not see as protection and that she’s still a target. She also mentions that she didn’t abduct Emily — that she had found her in the middle of the road while crunk on sorrow, booze, and love for Maya. (According to Jenna, Emily freaked out and leaped out of the vehicle at a red light.) Jenna sounds sincere but then she ruins the Hallmark moment by having the audacity to threaten the Liars with the fact that they “owe” her. (Bitch please!)
The Big Ta-Da: What do you get when you mix some vodka on the rocks, black leather gloves, human teeth and body bags? A pleasant night in — that is, if your name is A and you’re off your rocker and totally crazy. BUT SERIOUSLY — was that Alison DiLaurentis’s body in the freezer?! Not only is that mental and morbid but it’s also completely unsanitary. Gross! Let’s just saw we won’t be plopping any ice cubes into our drinks at A’s next shindig. OMFG! WE’RE FREAKING OUT!
What was YOUR favorite OMG moment from Pretty Little Liars Season 3, Episode 3? Tell us in the comments below!